With respect to my last post, I've been thinking about how we have discussed - and acted upon - just about every type of sexual assault there is. College campuses have made great strides in terms of date-rape awareness; child sexual abuse has been well and truly out there for a good 15 years. Big money was poured into international seminars for ritual abuse.
Why is partner rape awareness such a Sisyphean task? (for those who don't know, Sisyphus was condemned to spend eternity rolling a boulder up a hill; it would roll down again and he'd have to start all over). I don't mean to sound negative, but it can feel a bit that way sometimes.
I also know that prison rape awareness has a long way to go. And that prompted me to wonder if prison rape and partner rape share a common thread of victim-blame, even amongst the enlightened?
I could be way off...but I do wonder. Just saying. And Sisyphean or not, every time a survivor tells me that she is glad to have what happened to her named and that she can begin to heal, this makes it worthwhile.
This is a blog for survivors, supporters, professionals and others with an interest in Intimate Partner Sexual Assault. The more voices we hear about this common but underreported and hidden crime against women, the better. So, share your thoughts - and see ground rules below.
Louise~
ReplyDeleteI don't understand it either... I am a rape crisis advocate and a survivor of marital / spousal rape in the US. The statistics here are high... estimated that 40% of women in abusive relationships will be sexually assaulted by their partner, yet it is never mentioned! The Dr Phil show started an "end the silence on domestic violence" campaign, and even they left sexual abuse off the list of signs of abuse. I don't understand how this can be so widespread and yet so easily ignored. Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming and no one can hear me. I don't really know what to do to make a difference, but I'm trying.
I've been on Pandora's Aquarium, but not often... my story is at www.ViolenceUnsilenced.com/Aerin.
Thanks so much for all you do!
~Aerin
Aerin, thanks so much for your comment, fellow fighting sister. It's good to know we aren't alone, isn't it? I believe that we can but keep trying to get people to listen.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI recently found your blog/Aphrodite Wounded website. Just wanted to say thanks... This happened to me, when I was 16, two years ago, until the relationship ended a few months ago. I didn't have a name for it or even really understand how wrong it was... Thank you.
Brigit, I'm so glad you've found the ability to name it. People ask why women and girls stay - but you are one of so many of us who didn't know how wrong it was, because too few people name it and talk about it.
ReplyDeleteIn solidarity x
Hi Louise,
ReplyDeleteIt seems so strange now, but when I was in the abusive relationship I actually never thóught about the possibility that someone could be raped in a relationship! It just never crossed my mind. Because no one teaches you about it. I didn't know it could be rape, I didn't know he did anything wrong. And I think, that if someone would have educated me in high school about these things (and I mean about sexual abuse in relationships, because I did know about physical abuse), and I knéw it was something that could happen, I would have seen the signs very soon. And many of the things that have happened, wouldn't have happened.
So I really think that pretending things like this don't happen, is VERY harmful, and people get victimized because they just don't know.
That's why I think it's so important what you're doing. And I understand how frustrating it can be.
I hope that someday, when I'm strong enough, I can educatie people about this subject. I already started with my little sisters! I think that simply knowing this can happen, and learning about some signs can really make a huge difference (and I honestly don't understand why so many people don't see that).
Fenna